[Hear ye! Let His Majesties loyal subjects partake of his flame-broiled goodness!] Not every burger joint can have a clown-on-the-shill as profitable as Ronald McDonald and his merry band of imaginary flunkies (although Captain Crook and the lone female breakfast-mongering Birdie the Early Bird didn't stick around too long). Remember Burger King's poor man's McDonaldland, populated by the 'Duke of Doubt' (who's sole defining characteristic was his natural proclivity to doubt any assertion made by anyone, ever - a marketing feat never attempted since), 'Sir Shake-A-Lot', and the ultimage knock-off, the red-headed 'Marvelous Magical Burger King'? The Wizard of Fries was the most ill-advised concept of the whole BK court, having no wizard-like properties at all. He was a size 18 Chuck Taylor-wearing robot with a head of racked fries encased by a glass dome. Nostalgic for lowest-common-denominator marketing ploys? Greaseniks, Howl for Mayor McCheese! (or at least sign a petition to bring him back)