["I am a bad-ass mother-***** and I need some shuteye"] Trouble sleeping? It's most likely alien abductions that are causing those fitful nights and groggy mornings, and it turns out that with a little salt and common lamplight (!?) your troubles will soon be over. Here's your guide to preventing alien abductions. Excellent use of the mysterious "Nordic connection" as well as lizards. [hey hey, Bifurcated Rivets]

"The abductors (the greys, Nordics or whatever) may respond with "We don't care about your God! Resistance is useless!" or something like that. You could retort, "Aw shaddup! Who asked you!?" Be MEAN! Be a bad-ass mother-****!"

Personal note: If you happen to be a bad guy/aggressor/evil dictator/etc., don't ever say "Resistance is futile!". Ever. In every movie where the bad guy says this, you can bet that resistance wasn't, after all, futile. You'll surely eat your words, and quite possibly end up in a cage with foot-thick lucite walls and guards posted at each corner, with only the sporadic chess-match visit from your one-time foe to look forward to.